It’s a situation not many adults thought they’d find themselves in – taking care of both their parents and their children. In fact, most people never expect to have a parent living with them, especially while their children are still at home.
But it is happening more and more with an estimated 9 million+ Americans finding themselves a part of what is being called the Sandwich Generation.
Since July is National Sandwich Generation Month, I thought I’d take this opportunity to look at these amazing people.
First, let’s define them in general terms. Social worker Dorothy Miller originally coined the term in 1981, referring to women in their 30s and 40s who were taking care of both their children and parents. That has changed over the years to include male caregivers and people who are in their 50s.
The situation has developed for three reasons:
- Delayed parenting. Many couples are waiting to start their families in their mid to late 30s and even early 40s.
- Increased life spans. With the better health care that is now available, people are living much longer.
- Finances. The recession, lack of retirement planning or lack of employment opportunities can bring both parents and children to the home of the middle-aged adults.
While being part of the Sandwich Generation can be stressful, time-consuming and a financial burden, there are some benefits. One, in particular, is the wonderful family bonding that can occur.
Younger children can really get to know their grandparents and vice versa. Elderly parents and their children can also get to know each other on a much different, deeper level that is developed by the increased time together.
Of course, there are downsides. Being a member of the Sandwich Generation can create a great deal of stress and financial hardship. Because of that, it’s crucial for caregivers to take care of themselves first. (Like they always say, you can’t care for others if you are burned out or your own mental and physical health is not good.)
It’s important caregivers take breaks by getting help from family members or by finding ways to get respite care, including the use of sitters and activities at senior centers. They need to make time for themselves and strive to get exercise, good nutrition and adequate sleep.
Housekeepers can also come in handy, as well as the younger generation. Delegating to children who are old enough to pitch in can also increase the family bond.
As far as finances, it can be easy for Sandwich Generation caregivers to overlook their own finances and retirement planning while helping out parents and funding their children’s educations. This is an absolute no-no, which I will discuss in next month’s continuation of my series on caring for elderly parents.